Parental Alienation: What is it and how is it Relevant to Family Law Matters?

Parent-child relationships can be complicated at the best of times, let alone when a relationship breakdown has occurred between a child’s parents. When a parent interferes with their child’s relationship with their other parent in a harmful way, this can constitute parental alienation.

Parental alienation syndrome was a phenomenon coined in the 1980’s, which has been studied and is known today as parental alienation.

Parental alienation occurs where a child favours one parent strongly over the other and rejects the relationship with the less favoured parent (the rejected parent) due to the favoured parent manipulating the child’s perceptions of the targeted parent.

Some literature has suggested that alienating parents commonly appear to have traits consistent with personality disorders such as paranoid and narcissistic personality disorder, and commonly behave in ways which prioritises their own need for revenge and possession of the child, over the child’s relationship with the other parent.

Parental alienation often arises as an issue in family law cases where there is disagreement about where a child should live and how much time should be spent with both parents after separation.

It becomes a concern where a child refuses to see the other parent and so a court will investigate to rule out any parental alienation.

Parental alienation can result from a broad array of behaviours and may include the manipulating parent engaging in behaviours such as:

• Degrading the other parent in front of the child;
• Exposing inappropriate details to the child about the separation;
• Spying on interactions and communication between the child and other parent;
• Asking the child to spy on the other parent;
• Encouraging the child to be defiant against the other parent;
• Forcing the child to take sides;
• Threatening to withdraw love from the child if they have a relationship with the other parent;
• Seeking intervention or family violence orders despite having no basis for these orders;
• Interfering with the time the child spends with the other parent.

 

It is important to note that denigration of the other parent can be subtle (such as refusing to use the name of the other parent), or obvious (such as calling the other parent an idiot).

Children can pick up on subtleties to a surprising extent and may still pick up on these subtle forms of denigration. Specific acts such as: failing to pass on gifts and letters to the child from the other parent, encouraging the child to call the other parent by their first name instead of ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’, and interrogating the child about what occurred during their time with the other parent can also constitute parental alienation.

Parental alienation can likely be recognised through the existence of 5 elements:

1. The child rejects a relationship with the parent;
2. The child previously had a positive relationship with the parent before they rejected them;
3. There is no evidence that the rejected parent abused or neglected the child;
4. The other parent has engaged in multiple alienating behaviours; and
5. The child demonstrates behaviours that are consistent with parental alienation.

Signs to look out for if you suspect your child is the victim of parental alienation include:

• the child viewing one parent as good and the other as bad,
• the child using adult language or phrases clearly used by the alienating parent to describe the rejected parent,
• the child being unable to provide a reason when asked why they don’t want to see the rejected parent,
• a sudden change to the relationship for no apparent reason,
• and where the child continues to side with the alienating parent in every situation without reason.

Often alienated children will also assert they are not being alienated by the alienating parent and have rejected the other parent by themselves and have made that decision without influence.

Parental Alienation vs Estrangement

Although similar to parental alienation, estrangement is a different concept which involves a breakdown of a parent-child relationship as a realistic outcome for various reasons.

Estrangement occurs where there is legitimate justification for the breakdown in the relationship between the parent and child, such as where there has been abuse, neglect, family violence or a history of a poor relationship between the child and parent.

Issues such as the child witnessing the parent’s substance abuse can also be a contributor to estrangement.

The main point of difference is that estrangement occurs where children have come to the decision to reject the relationship on their own, without outside influence.

The differences between estrangement and alienation can be subtle and may require diagnostic assessment by professionals.

Impacts on Family Law Cases

Parental alienation is now widely recognised by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.

Generally, cases involving parental alienation will still go through the first step of most family law matters and start with mediation to resolve the issues.

If this does not resolve the issue, the issue may be raised in court.

The court may then involve professionals such as psychologists to assess the child and determine whether some sort of alienation is occurring, as it is not always an easy task to determine whether rejection of a parent is justified or the result of parental alienation.

A family consultant may also be engaged to write a family report to assist the court with determining the issues within the family. The court will always consider the best interest of the child when making orders as per s60CC of the Family Law Act 1975, and in doing so will assess the benefit to the child of having a relationship with both parents and the need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm.

Alienating a child from the other parent can be seen as abuse causing psychological harm to the child in severe cases.

If a court determines that a parent is alienating their child from the other parent, the court may order for changes in the current arrangements for the child such as living arrangements and shared time, ordering counselling for all parties including the child and ordering parents to undertake parenting courses.

In some instances, where the child has a strong aversion to the rejected parent, it may be considered too harmful to force the child to spend time with the rejected parent. In these instances, the court will have to weigh up the benefits of attempting to re-establish the relationship between the child and parent.

 

Cases

In the case of Udall v Oaks [2010] FMCAfam 1482, the parents of a young boy were seeking parenting orders and the issue of parental alienation had been raised.

In this case, the father was seeking orders that the child live with him and that the father be responsible for all day-to-day care, welfare, health, education and development of the child whilst with him, and that the child spend time with the mother in the presence of an approved supervisor three times a week for a total of six hours a week.

The mother alleged that the father had engaged in behaviour which alienated or damaged the relationship the child had with his mother.

The mother submitted that the child’s behaviour had changed towards her and that he was aggressive and hitting her, speaking disrespectfully about her and using vile language that you would not expect from a 6-year-old, had started throwing tantrums, being disobedient and behaving in a way that was unacceptable for a 6-year-old.

The father alleged he did not have any issues with the child’s behaviour, however the child’s school provided evidence that his behaviour had deteriorated, and that he had become rude, uncooperative, and disruptive at school.

The father had made allegations that the mother had been abusing the child however these were unfounded, and the court determined them to have no basis. The child had also been calling his mother a liar which was deemed to be something that was a concept beyond the child’s cognition and so appeared to be from the father’s vocabulary.

It was determined by the expert involved that the continued alienation by the father would have a negative impact on the child’s relationship with his mother.

The court ordered the child live with his mother and spend time with his father on each alternate weekend, and that both parents have equal shared parental responsibility of the child.

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In the case of Cardus v Lavrick [2020] FamCA 579, the father of the child submitted that the mother had alienated him from his teenage daughter.

The parents of the child had had a casual intimate relationship, which resulted in the conception of the child. There was a family violence intervention order in place and the child lived with the mother and the father had an intermittent and inconsistent relationship with the child.

By the time of the hearing the father had not seen the child for several years.

The court disagreed that any alienation was occurring and determined that any challenges to the relationship with his daughter were the result of his own behaviour towards the child, including his unreliability, only engaging with the child on his own terms, inappropriate and sexualised comments he had made towards the mother, his lack of interest and engagement with the child’s medical conditions including her autism and irritable bowel syndrome, his refusal to adhere to her diet and his unsolicited communication with the child.

Additionally, there was evidence the mother had attempted to foster a relationship between the child and her father.

The findings by medical and mental health professionals indicated no evidence of parental alienation and this was further submitted by the independent children’s lawyer.

The court ordered the mother have sole responsibility of the child, the child live with the mother and the father have no contact with the child.

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Parental alienation is a complicated and harmful form of manipulation which can have devastating impacts on relationships between children and their parents.

It is important to seek legal advice quickly if you’re concerned about parental alienation occurring between the other parent and the child, or where you’re being falsely accused of engaging in alienating behaviours.

At Matthies Lawyers, we are here to cater to your family law needs. Our team of family lawyers proudly serves clients in South Yarra, Toorak, Windsor, Prahran, Armadale, and Richmond.

Contact us today for expert legal advice and support or call +61 3 8692 2517.

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Kate Scolyer – Solicitor– Matthies Lawyers

Disclaimer: This article contains general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for obtaining legal advice.